SIDA and Baskets

Last weekend, I bought a pair of shoes that needed a waterproofing spray, so my first stop was naturally Monoprix, vendor of all things French and useful. Since Jacques, my host father, was headed up to Monoprix for some grocery shopping, I decided to tag along. When we got there, he directed my towards the lower level with all of the clothing and home supplies, and I went down there, searching through all the aisles for my shoe spray. After about ten minutes of fruitless searching, I found a woman doing some stocking, and I asked her (english version), "I have new leather shoes that I need protection for against water, do you know where I can find a spray?"

She looks at me quizzically, and says "for condoms to protect against AIDS (le SIDA in french), you have to go upstairs."

Flustered, I look around and then lift one of my feet up and point at it. "Shoes. I need protection for my shoes."

She looks at me. "Sir, as I said, condoms are upstairs."

After that, I gave up. I went up and told Jacques, who continued to laugh for a few minutes. He explained to me there were a few new employees from North Africa who didn't speak perfect french, and it was just an issue with comprehension.

The other incident occured on my next visit to Monoprix two days later. That night, I was cooking for myself, so I picked up a bottle of Badoit, my favorite sparkling water, some pork pate, bread, and some potatoes and sausage. Being constantly on guard since I always happen to not do things in the french way, I searched in my checkout line for a place to put down my shopping basket. Finding no baskets around me, I put my food down on the counter and stood there, basket in hand. The clerk looked up at me and started laughing. Loudly. She pointed at my basket, and asked me, "do you want to buy that too?!" Of course, it didn't stop there. She continued, "how much are you willing to pay?"

She then told me to just leave the basket before the checkout counter on the floor. Once she stopped laughing (admittedly, it was more good-natured than mean-spirited), I was able to pay for my food and get out of there.

I told Jacques about the basket incident, and he told me that you just set the basket down before the checkout counter. Now I know.